Describe the observable behavior and its impact, then ask what contributed to it and what needs to change.
How does Choose Your Attitude support accountability?
Managers can use Choose Your Attitude to address performance while leaving room for context. That approach recognizes that people can influence how they show up, moment by moment, and that leaders shape the team through their own example. It does not mean telling someone to “fix their attitude” or asking them to pretend a real problem is positive.
Start with what you saw or heard. For example: “In yesterday’s client meeting, you interrupted Maya three times and answered before she finished. She stopped contributing, and we missed two details about the handoff.” Then ask, “What was happening for you in that meeting?” The answer may reveal a rushed deadline, confusion about roles, or a personal difficulty. Understanding the cause does not erase the impact; it helps you choose a useful response.
A manager can then connect the conversation to a clear expectation: “What will help you stay present and let people finish in the next meeting?” The employee might choose to review the agenda beforehand, close unrelated messages, or name when they need clarification. The manager can also own their part: “I will clarify who is leading each agenda item before we begin.”
Use descriptions rather than labels. “You arrived 20 minutes late twice this week, and the team had to delay the safety check” gives the person something specific to address. “You are careless” turns an event into an assumption about character. Ask open questions such as, “What contributed to the lateness?” and “What needs to change so the check can start on time?”
Keep listening after you ask. Being present means giving physical, mental, and emotional attention, including when the explanation is uncomfortable. If the reason involves a barrier the manager can remove, agree on that support and a follow-up. If the behavior was a choice that still falls short, state the expectation, consequence, and review date plainly.
A simple pattern to use is:
- Name the behavior: “I observed…”
- Explain the impact: “This affected…”
- Invite context: “What contributed to this?”
- Set the next choice: “What will you do differently, and what support do you need?”
- Follow through: “We will revisit this on Friday.”
Accountability and compassion can exist together. When managers stay curious about what happened, make the standard clear, and model the attitude they want to see, the conversation remains focused on the work while treating the person with respect.
Questions like this one, and many more about trust and leadership, are explored in the FISH! Philosophy upgraded trial, which gives your team 30 days of access to the FISH! film and its digital guides.
