Listen to the Language: What Teams Really Say
When we hear the words “That’s not my job…” we have a visceral reaction.
“What is wrong with you today?”
“Yes, it is!”
“Why are we arguing about this?”
When a team starts to break down, you can hear it in the language. Literally. The warning signs are hiding in everyday conversations, quick chats, and quiet frustrations.
Here are a few examples that reveal what’s really going on:
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“That’s not my job.” — signals a refusal to collaborate.
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“Just so everyone is aware…” — a public call-out masked as helpful.
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“For future reference…” — correction with a condescending edge.
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“I’m too busy.” — used to avoid engagement or connection.
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“I already told you that.” — resentment disguised as efficiency.
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“You’re just so sensitive.” — invalidates emotion and shuts down dialogue.
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“Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions.” — punishes vulnerability.
Now, Forgiveness Time
OK, now it’s forgiveness time.
We all do this. We’ve all done this.
If we go around judging others or feeling guilt about it, we get nowhere. What matters is recognizing it — and choosing a new construct and mindset to work through it.
The Science Behind the Words
This kind of language doesn’t come from bad people — it comes from fear, frustration, or feeling trapped.
When people feel unsafe or unheard, their brains shift into protection mode. They stop connecting and start defending.
The trick is not to get pulled into that fear–frustration–trapped rabbit hole. That’s where culture unravels.
So, How Do You Rise Above It?
The FISH! Philosophy gives teams a way forward — four daily practices that bring back trust, energy, and connection:
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Choose Your Attitude – You can’t control what happens, but you can choose how you show up.
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Be There – Give your full attention. Listen without judgment.
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Make Their Day – Take small actions that lift others up.
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Play – Bring lightness, creativity, and joy back into work.
These practices don’t just change words — they change chemistry. They rebuild safety, trust, and belonging. They help teams rise above reaction and rediscover what it means to truly work together.
A Safe Space to Let It Out
Sometimes, before we fix culture, we just need to talk about it.
That’s why we created a simple way to start.
When you set up time to visit with us, the first thing we’re going to ask is, “How’s it going?”
Not “Can I sell you something?” or “Do you want to book a slot?”
Our job is to listen and help on the spot as best we can. If you need more help, we’ll get there. But first, you need a safe ear to talk to.
That’s Suzie. Set some time and let it out.
At a minimum, you’ll feel relief — and who knows, it might just be the catalyst that turns your culture around.
- Your friends at FISH!
Hi, I’m Suzie.
Think of our call as a pressure release valve. We’ll talk, breathe, and find your next step forward. You can also email me at suzie.h@fishphilosophy.com
Trusted by Thousands
FISH! has been trusted worldwide by organizations that care deeply about people and performance, including:
Southwest Airlines • John Deere • Shell • McDonald’s • University of Michigan — and thousands more.